Two Blue Lines (Crossing The Line #1) Page 6

  I sat up and ran a hand down my face. The girls were playing in the water near the boat. The guys were just baiting up and tossing fishing reels in the opposite end.

  I watched them for a moment as the cobwebs cleared from my mind. Something unseen and untold held me back from joining them. And as much as I wanted to name it, I had no idea. So I simply stayed still and silent, and observed.

  Aaron said something and bumped Mike with his shoulder and they all guffawed with laughter. Dean reeled in his line, adjusted something, recast.

  Water rippled next to the boat and it rocked gently as one of the girls pulled herself up the ladder. Chloe. That’s what Mike said her name was. Like Aphrodite rising from the sea, her sleek, bikini-clad body eased out of the water, tiny droplets glistening and reflecting the sunlight like crystals. My breath caught in an automatic reaction. Holy shit, was she smokin.’

  She shook out her hair, just like in the movies, and stepped over to wrap a towel around her body. I’m sure my mouth was hanging down to my chest. I quickly closed my drooling lips and glanced over to make sure I hadn’t been busted by the other guys. I was good.

  I breathed a sigh of relief and sagged back into the padded bench. It would probably be best if I just joined in with the guys and quit being a loner. It was getting me nothing but trouble . . . and kinda horny. God, I wished Mel would get over herself.

  The thought of Mel spurned me out of my seat. And straight into Chloe’s damp body.

  “Hi,” she said, her bright blue eyes, so different than Mel’s, smiling into mine.

  I swallowed. “Hey.” There was no way to get around her without being rude, so I stayed put. “I’m Reed.”

  “I know. I asked Sierra who you were.” Her smile took on a definite flirty edge. “I’m Chloe.”

  I glanced at the guys. Still oblivious to me. Come on, dudes! I nodded but didn’t add anything, hoping she’d just go. Her wet, curvy body was giving me a surge of hormones that was making me entirely too uncomfortable.

  I flinched when she leaned across my body, brushing my arm, as she reached toward the seat behind me. “What’re you listening to?” she asked, pointing to my iPod.

  I inhaled—she smelled like salt from the bay and sunscreen. I was acting stupid. She was just a girl. And not my girl. “Just some old metal and punk.”

  She grinned and my heart stumbled. “Really? I love that stuff. You got any Deftones or Misfits on there?”

  Now I had to pause. Was she shittin’ me? Mel hated my music. It was my turn to grin. “Hell yeah, I do.”

  She moved past me, this time her entire body brushing against mine, and plopped down. “Lemme see.” She looked up at me with eyes the color of the summer sky, which were practically begging.

  So I sat and we listened to my music. And we talked. And talked. And Chloe turned out to be pretty cool.

  At least until she kissed me.

  July 26th

  I’m so mad at Reed right now! He knows I’ve been looking forward to seeing him all this time and he’s finally got a weekend off and what does he call for? To see if I’ll go with him and his friends to the bay! Fishing!

  Uh, no.

  I was dumb and asked about Jonah, but I recovered quickly enough. I just couldn’t bear the thought of sharing Reed today, much less being around other girls. As in, not only not alone, but I’d be the weird, chubby pregnant girl. I can’t get in a freakin’ swimsuit!

  I just couldn’t.

  I know I sounded whiney, but I wanted him to want to be with me! Just me!

  I hung up on him and it only took about ten minutes for my anger to fizzle out as I cursed The Night that changed everything for us. For me. Now, I just miss him more. I’m such an idiot.

  So I texted him. Why isn’t he answering?

  Losers and Liars

  I jumped away from Chloe like she had the plague and tried not to feel guilty about the fact that I liked her kiss.

  Dude, what I wouldn’t give for a rewind button. That so should not have happened! I wanted to kick myself for ignoring all her flirty remarks and the way she smiled and twirled her hair. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

  I glanced around to make sure no one saw.

  “Reed?”

  I turned back at Chloe’s uncertain voice.

  “What’s wrong?”

  What’s wrong? What’s wrong? Jeez, she had no idea! I sucked in a breath, hating that all I could smell was her, and tried to collect myself. I raked a hand through my hair.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “I . . . I guess . . . I guess I thought you liked me, too.” She shifted, obviously uncomfortable and a little irritated now. “God, I feel like an idiot.”

  I looked back at her. “That’s not it.”

  She pinned me with her big blue eyes. “It’s not?”

  “Well . . .”

  The hope that had started to fill her face fell. Shit, I felt like an asshole.

  “I have a girlfriend.” I decided to leave out the pregnant part. It seemed a bit much.

  Understanding dawned and her gaze snapped with something fierce and competitive. “Oh. So, where is she?”

  “Uh, she didn’t feel good today.” Now I shifted uncomfortably.

  She glanced down, then looked back at me. “Well . . .” She smiled and handed me back my iPod, making sure to brush my hand. “Will she at least let you be friends with another girl?”

  Oh, shit. Mel wasn’t really the jealous type, but I didn’t particularly want to be friends with Chloe. Especially since that’d mean telling her about the baby. And somehow I found myself embarrassed. Man, I really was an asshole. “I dunno,” I answered lamely.

  She nodded and bit her lip, her eyes still glittering like she’d just been challenged.

  What started out as a fun day, a chance to unwind and forget about normal life for a while, had turned into a real cluster, and I found myself just wanting to go home. What a loser.

  She finally moved back to the other girls when I stopped talking to her, and kept her distance for the rest of the day, which I was grateful for. I tried to get back into the swing of things with the rest of the guys, but it just wasn’t comfortable after that, and I breathed a sigh of relief when we finally made our way lazily back to dock, twilight shimmering an orangey-pink on the horizon.

  “You wanna hang out with us for a while on the beach? We’re gonna grill some burgers and Aaron snagged some of his dad’s beer.” Mike grinned at me, reminding me momentarily of Jonah.

  I shook my head, my gaze straying to Chloe, who was smiling at me. “Nah, dude. I gotta work tomorrow.”

  He looked puzzled—I couldn’t blame him. Who, in their right teenage mind would turn down fun on the beach with friends and hot girls?—but he nodded. “Right. Okay, man. See ya later.”

  I nodded and grabbed my duffel. “Thanks for . . .” I glanced back out at the water, wishing the day had been all I’d hoped for, “. . . everything,” I finished lamely. “It was fun.”

  “Yeah.” He clapped my shoulder, but spun away to join the fun as Aaron popped the top on a beer and they began horseplaying, obviously forgetting all about me.

  I sighed and trotted down the dock toward my car. I hit the unlock button on my fob and ventured one last look over my shoulder. They were all still laughing and playing. My heart constricted painfully. Why couldn’t I fit into that life anymore?

  I blinked and turned away, folding myself into the car.

  Forcing away the burning behind my eyelids, I gunned the engine to a roaring start and backed out quicker than I should have. As I drove, an old Mountain Dew bottle rolled out from under the passenger seat and I glanced down, puzzled. I’d just cleaned out the car.

  Then I remembered.

  It was Mel’s.

  Probably left over from our Fourth of July junk food fest on the beach. There was probably a Twizzler wrapper under there, too. I fought a wry grin. She loved those stupid things.

  But that night, under the boom and light of the firew
orks, and by the beach I loved so much, she’d confessed her fears to me.

  You think we can love this baby enough?

  What if you decided you hated me or the baby?

  I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost you.

  I’d comforted her the best I could. But had it been enough? Was that why she was acting so weird today? But if she was becoming that insecure, I wasn’t sure there was much I could do. I loved her. She knew that.

  But I’d let myself get too close to the fire today. Guilt was a bitch.

  I guess I just needed to go see her. At a red light, I picked up my phone and powered it back on to call her. But she’d beaten me to it. There was a text message waiting.

  Im sorry. Luv u. Call me. Xoxo

  Now I just had to figure out if I was going to tell her about the kiss.

  July 26th Continued

  It’s been like six hours and still no return call from Reed.

  I miss him.

  It sucks.

  Let me reiterate . . . I’m miserable and he’s not around and it sucks. I’ve been waiting forever to see him again, to let his presence make me forget all the ugliness hiding inside me. To hold his hand. Tell him about my week. About Roxanne’s stupid joke about my watermelon belly, how I’d kill for a chocolate malt, even how Chris and I played Xbox and it was kinda like old times. Just anything, as long as it was with him. I hope he calls me back soon. I need to apologize for being such a brat. I hope he had fun.

  Oh, that’s him texting back! I’ll write more later . . .

  Got Sperm?

  I couldn’t tell Melissa about the kiss. I’m an idiot, but I just knew I couldn’t do it. I texted her back then went over to her house and picked her up. She looked rested and was acting like herself again.

  “Did you have fun?” she asked as she popped into the car.

  I glanced at her. I didn’t have the heart to ruin the day. Not when we could get back on an even keel. “Yeah. It was okay.” I leaned over and kissed her. Thank God, she kissed me back like she used to. “I missed you.” Okay, I was a chicken shit.

  She smiled sweetly. “I missed you, too. But I’m glad you got back at a decent time. I’m starving. Let’s get some tacos and then . . .” She opened her purse and pulled out some cash. “My mom gave me some money to get some stuff.”

  I stared at her blankly. “Some stuff?”

  “Yeah. For the baby.”

  I know my face couldn’t have registered anything because my brain didn’t register anything. I sat there frozen as the radio droned on in the background and the engine idled listlessly. I had no clue what she was talking about.

  She furrowed her brows. “Reed?”

  “Yeah?”

  “You’re not upset, are you? It’s just to get a few things. I think she’s loosening up a little and trying to help.”

  A few things. My mind rattled like an empty piggy bank—pretty much what I had. What does a baby need?

  A baby.

  Oh. Shit.

  Suddenly, my brain was bombarded with visions of oversized baby carriages full of screaming kids, a kaleidoscope of colorful twirly things that hang above baby beds, car seats, rattlers, babies spitting up . . . it was like a bad sitcom running on a constant feed.

  “Reed?” she repeated, concern showing on her face. “You okay?”

  I turned and stared blankly out the windshield, my thumbs tapping the steering wheel in time with the pulse pounding in my brain. “Sure. I’m fine. Let’s go.” I thrust the car into gear and pulled out, not saying anything else. Not thinking anything else.

  Mel reached over and squeezed my thigh. I glanced down at her hand, then over into her concerned eyes. “I’m happy she’s helping,” she said with a tentative smile. “Aren’t you?”

  I focused back on the road as we turned onto J.P. Bryan Parkway and headed out of town, the pier in my rearview. “Who?”

  “My mom,” she said, her voice clearly puzzled. “She knows we don’t have a lot of money, and well . . .” She waited until I shot her another quick glance. She shrugged.

  Shit. What was I thinking? What did I think I was tearing ticket stubs and shoveling greasy popcorn for, anyway? To buy diapers and pacifiers and bottles and whatever else a little baby would need. That’s what. I should be happy Mel’s mom wanted to help out. But a part of me—probably the part that was still hiccupping on my dad’s stark glare of disappointment, if I was being totally honest—hated that I wasn’t providing everything myself. There was a deep, hidden, self-loathing, probably totally disgusting part of me that wanted Mel and Peanut to need me. Only me.

  But I was just a kid. With sperm.

  I pulled into the Mexican place that had Mel’s favorite tacos and parked. I faced her with a sigh. “It’s fine. I’m not upset. Thank your mom for me, okay?”

  She offered me a tentative smile. “Really?”

  I swallowed back my neediness. My pride. “Sure. We’re getting to pick out the stuff and I’m saving my paychecks to buy the big things.” I smiled and reached up to tuck some stray hair behind her ear, but found myself playing with it between my fingers instead. Mel had always had the softest hair. “It’s no big deal.” I wouldn’t let it be.

  “Okay.” Her smile grew, making her tiny dimples wink. “Then let’s eat. I’m starving!” She ducked out and started toward the door of the restaurant, leaving me to follow.

  And so we ate tacos. Or I should say, I ate tacos. She inhaled them.

  In the parking lot, she rubbed her stomach, finally full. Maybe.

  “What now?” I asked with a smile.

  “Ice cream?” She giggled.

  My eyes widened.

  “Well, okay. Maybe later. Let’s hit the Walmart in Lake Jackson and spend this money that’s burning a hole in my purse.” She wiggled her eyebrows at me.

  I couldn’t help but laugh. This was more like the fun-loving, silly Melissa I’ve known and loved for the past three years.

  “All right. Walmart it is, my lady.”

  And so we went to Lake Jackson and hit the Super Center. I pretended it was a normal day. A normal date. Shopping for baby items.

  We perused the aisles, laughing over the sizes of the stuff, marveling at the prices. God, how can one little baby cost so much? I was beginning to think my piddly little savings account wasn’t going to go past the first month of diapers, let alone clothes, wipes, food, doctor bills . . .

  “Oh, my God, Reed. Look how tiny!” she said, holding up a pair of pink booties.

  I forced a smile and focused on her. They looked like they belonged on a doll. I put down the little T-shirt that said Daddy’s Boy and made my way over.

  It was all so small and confusing, and I hadn’t the first idea what we needed. But Mel looked happy, so I went with it. Though I drew the line at breast pumps.

  And right then, I knew what they meant about the ‘glow.’ She was breathtaking. Chloe Seymour was quickly becoming a distant memory.

  “What?” she demanded when she saw my stupid grin.

  “Nothing. So what should we get?”

  She shrugged and we turned back to the shelves. We decided to be sensible and threw our first pack of diapers in the basket, but we argued over what else to buy.

  Mel held up the pink booties again. “I like these. They’re cute.”

  I frowned. “But they’re pink.”

  “So?”

  I tilted my head. “What if it’s not a girl?”

  She smiled. “I have a feeling.”

  She was adorable. “So do I . . .” I held up the Daddy shirt.

  She gave it a cursory glance. “Fine. We’ll get them both and return whichever we don’t need. Deal?”

  “Fine.”

  We tossed them both in the basket and pushed on. But I saw her eyeing those little pink booties. And glowing. I went with my instinct and yanked the basket to a stop, drawing her into my arms. “I love you.”

  She giggled. “I know.”

  The momen
t was perfect. She was perfect. Our circumstance may be effed the hell up, but we were perfect. Hope welled up in my chest like a helium balloon.

  I pressed my lips to hers.

  Right there, in the middle of the baby aisle of the super shopping center, I kissed my girl.

  She pulled back a minute later, her eyes smiling and reflecting hope back at me. So much like the Mel I remembered. “What was that for?”

  I blinked. Swallowed. Decided. “Do you wanna get married?”

  July 26th Continued

  Reed proposed tonight.

  PROPOSED!

  I said no. Am I stupid? I’ve been dreaming of this for forever. I’ve just started coming to grips with all that will never be, grieving for it . . . living in a dorm at college, visiting abroad, the big white wedding with both of my mothers there . . . and there he was, offering me a slice of that like I hadn’t successfully murdered both our childhoods.

  But all that rushed through my mind as he stared at me with those big hazel eyes, was shame. How I’ve been lying to him. How I don’t deserve a forever with him. Not like this.

  The First Lie

  “You did what?” Jonah nearly choked on his bite of burger and stared at me with his eyes barely in the socket.

  I shifted my gaze from our perch on the hood of my car to the grumbling gray sky and the matching ocean as it churned beneath, and bit my own sandwich. It didn’t bear repeating. A proposal . . . I could hardly believe it myself.

  What had possessed me?

  “Well, what did she say?”

  I shrugged, swallowed. “Not much, really.”

  “What the hell does that mean?”

  I glanced at him.

  “Well?”

  “I think I shocked her.”

  “No shit.”

  Yeah, I’d shocked her. Me, too. Guess I’d gotten caught up in the moment. Her darn glow, the needing to be needed thing, the way she was looking at me all gooey-eyed.

  I tossed a chunk of bun to a cawing gull and waited to see how else Jonah would berate me. Heck, I was beating myself up . . . for being so impulsive, for not telling her about Chloe.